Just over one month into my FIS racing career and it's safe to say it’s been a pretty frustrating start. Finishing only one of the tech races I've done so far isn’t exactly the start I was hoping for.
I’ve missed a lot of good opportunities to score some good points since the middle of December however there are substantial signs of real improvement in my training and with the English Championships in Bormio on the horizon, I'm certainly not getting down on myself.
I always knew that this would be the toughest year I've experienced, fighting my way through from the back and I haven't been disappointed in that regard. Trying to ski the line I want through a bobsleigh track can be soul destroying, especially when one mistake later you're watching the second run from the warmth of the mountain restaurant. Then you get home, look down the FIS list and see the scores of other athletes you were beating or close to at international races over the last few years. It's very easy to get quickly disheartened.
However, whilst it would be ideal to ski the perfect race every time, every athlete knows that this is impossible. I think this year it is important for me to stay focused, take my chances when they come and not beat myself up when it gets hard and things aren’t going to plan. Those races I competed in at the start of the year in San Pellegrino, Chamonix and Morzine were missed opportunities for me to score good early points in slalom but they're gone now and nothing can change them.
That said, I have a starter on the board now and with a bit more luck - I've been punished fully for just about every mistake I've made - I'm confident I can make good inroads into my tech FIS points pretty soon. Like everyone, I suppose I’m looking for that one opportunity to ski fast and score big.
More recently the Welsh champs were massively frustratingly. I felt that I was going well in both disciplines until crashing. Being honest, I look at the boys who scored well in these races and know that I can beat or get very close to them. It is also hugely disappointing to miss out on scoring the 60/80 points that they collected. However they skied well & finished whereas I didn't so for the time being I’m still way back, but I’ve got to keep looking forward, keep focused and ensure that in a position to take my chance next time.
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| So where exactly did I leave my skis? Photo - ©Racer-Ready |
Probably the biggest frustration at present is not being able to convert my skiing from training into races. Previously I think that the occasion of a race day has been too much for me and the pressure and expectations I have of myself have been too high. Despite all the warnings and discussions I had (and there were lots) it has still proven incredibly hard to evolve from a successful children’s career, where every race is an opportunity to win to trying to change that mentality to one where you're racing your own race, where your success would be failure for more than half the field, where 60th place is a great result and where you're just another tadpole in a sea of sharks.
I knew it was coming, but there's no preparation for what's waiting for you. That said, I feel I’m closer to completing the mental transition now. I've had some good discussions with Ruslan & Malcolm about this and I know what I need to do to have a successful race. I have set some personal targets for the English Championships and aim to make the most of the races I have scheduled before them.
Moving forward we have some races in Meribel and Courchevel coming up which should be good for me as I know both hills pretty well after skiing on them for the past 5 years at the British Children's Champs. I know the steeps on both hills will be challenging but I’m more than prepared after smashing down a lot of quick runs on some tricky terrain over these past few weeks in Les Houches with the BSA FIS boys and know that we are more than ready to start converting promise into points.
Its been a good month for me barring race results. I’ve been able to get lots of solid training in here and I’m learning more than ever, which has to be positive. I’ve also had the privilege of training with some of Britain’s best in Dave Ryding and TJ Baldwin over the past month. It was great to see some of the lads who have made it into the big time, getting advice off of them and seeing what they do better than me (everything). It was great to just see that it can be done, to remember that they started out just the same as me and admire what they've done to get where I want to be.